Diesel is in Doggy Heaven.

Diesel

Age 5, April 19, 2005 - September 20, 2010

I still can't believe you're gone...

Nickname: D', Bubba, Hubba Bubba, Pup Pup, Deese

Just as a mother loves her baby at first sight, it was no different from when I held you. You were the baby I hadn't had, but so desperately wanted. You filled my heart with so much love and followed me everywhere. Looking into your big brown eyes always made me feel like you were a person inside. How could I not feel that way...your head was bigger than mine. I spoiled you and loved every minute of it. From coming home EVERY day on my lunch with you, taking you for rides and walks, going to the puppy store for treats, or just snuggling with me on the couch as soon as my butt hit the cushion! I loved it all, and miss it so very very much!!! Daddy loves you just as much and misses you too. I hope you know it broke his heart to not take you with him when he left(he left ME not YOU). I couldn't bare the thought of losing you too when he left and you quickly became my security. I felt safer having you with me, but it was more than that...you followed ME not him. We had a special bond and although it made you sad when Daddy left (I could see it in your eyes and your lack of food) I have to believe you were happy to stay with me and baby. Which brings me to Shelby...your baby girl. You were always so gentle with her from the time we brought her home. What a great buddy you were to be her constant guard when she learned to walk and also her dish licker ;) What a good boy you were to always wait so patiently for her to finish and for me to give you the all clear! She loves you and misses you also. We pray for you. She asks where you are...that is so so hard for me to answer. When she sees me cry for you she now gets sad too! You left a whole in my heart, and as much as it hurts I don't want to fill it. I will never forget you. You were my first baby! I'm not sure I will ever get another dog because you are irreplaceable to me. Your final week was like watching a child die of cancer. I watched and tried so very hard to help you. I had to give it my best shot to get you better, but your lab results showed that all my love in the world was not going to heal you!! We didn't know you had cancer until that point. I was just crushed...as I still am. When me and Daddy took you to be put to rest, it was the most unselfish thing I have ever done...allbeit the hardest. Daddy broke down and couldn't stay but as your Mommy I had to see you through this journey...to comfort you in your last moments, to pray for your soul, to whisper how much you were loved, and how much you would be missed. I am sorry that that ordeal was as traumatic as it was. I know it took forever with the needle!! My heart was breaking for you! I can't even go into details of how awful that was...you and I know they should have given you a sedative first and I'm so SORRY they didn't!!! I hope my arms that held you, my lips that kissed you, my tears that fell all let you know HOW MUCH I LOVED YOU!!!!! I hope I am the one you will come running to one day so we can be together again because it is that thought that brings me peace.♥ You were the BEST, Diesel!!! You will never be forgotten♥ The painting of you is on my bedroom wall...Daddy gave it back to me so you could always be WITH ME!!! There are NO words to describe what all you meant to me or how very much you are missed. Just know that I miss my Bestfriend and Lapdog!!! Kisses for your mush mush!!! xoxox
I ♥ You Pup Pup.....Always, Mommy