Ceasar is in Doggy Heaven.

Ceasar

Age 9, November 30, 2000 - February 21, 2010

Always remembered..Always loved

My Ceasar, we got him when he was 8 weeks old my yellow lab/retreiver, and had to put him to sleep at 9 years old do to bone cancer.. I never thought I would be able to live with this, I have 3 children, a husband and a foster son they all felt the loss but I think it is worse for me then any of them.. I had him creamated put some of his ashes in small vile necklesses for all the kids and myself, made frames with his fur and picutre in them for all the bedrooms and put his coller and tags and fur in a shawdow box that hangs in my family room.. Ceasar was my world, I cried and cried and actually though I would need professional help with griefing his loss. I am a stay at home mom my oldest is 18 my youngest 13 so when they boared the bus it was just "me n my Ceasar" I would tell him that every morning. He would great you at the door with a toy in his mouth every time, he would nudge your arm if you were trying to sit without patting him, he slept on a sheet covered couch at night and somtimes would come up in my bed with me after my husband left for work.. We had a birthday party for his 9th bday per my daughters suggestion, invited 11 other dogs the party was a hit, some of the dogs wore hats, we had Frosty paws and dog treats for the goodie bag gifts.. it was great! and glad we did it then because we did not know that would be his last birthday..It's been a year without him and I still cry, We got another puppy 2 months after his death figuring that might fill the void, it didn't, I love the new pup but he just isn't my Ceasar, I ended up selling him to a wonderful family that gives us visatation when ever we want it.So he comes to visit every other month (as he is only in the next town over) or when ever I need a fix or they go on a vacation.. It works out well, but I feel guilt over that also.My younger children think I am Cruella Duville :). I'm no.t I just didn't not find it fair to the pup that I didn't have the same love I had for Ceasar and it was a continuouse struggle to try to change my feelings. But any way now I feel I have the best of both worlds and the children have learned to live with the decsion.I would talk to Ceasar and I swear he understood just what I was saying.. and if you are reading this you are the pet lover that I was and know just what I am talking about.. I always said I never wanted to have to make that decsion of having to put him down, I would cry just at the thought of it. when the day came to do so It was ok for me, he was panting, spit up blood, not eating or drinking, and for this dog not to eat I knew he was sick, he ate everthing from chinese food to roast beef :) I stayed with him right to the end.He put his head in my lap and went into a peacful sleep and I'm sure straight up to doggy heaven.. I miss him so much I never though I could love an animal as I loved him I really think he was my sole mate in a way.. There is nothing that measures up to the unconditinal love of a pet you share so much with. I carry his picture with me in my wallet. He was always part of the family Christmas picture, I purchased a braclet with his name on it and dogs paws, I made book markers and sent them out to family and friends that knew him and how human this dog really was. It was all to try and help ease the pain and to keep him around, I still talk to him and tell him I love him and miss him when I walk by his pictures.. It is as bad as loosing a family member and the greiving process is the same. I also planted a Dogwood tree in our yard and put some of his ashes there as well a a small black marble stone with his picture etched in it. So I do have my Ceasar all over still, I can't physically pat him or see him but I close my eyes and picture him and he still puts a smile on my face.. It really does amaze me the comfort that you feel from a dog..
Always remembered.. Always loved..