Scruffy is in Doggy Heaven.

Scruffy

Age 18, ~1993 - April 19, 2011

My loving Roofy... how my heart still aches for your presence. I love you so much!!! Mamma

Nickname: Ruffy, Roofy, Roof Roof

Where to begin... it seems so hard to be able to find the right words were searching for. After 18 years with you, where do you start??!! You were family. I had you from a dropped off puppy, that un-be-known to me, was a drop off from our own family trying to cheer me up from a recent loss. At the time, I wasnt really sure I wanted another animal. But you were you, and warmed my heart so easily. Following me everywhere, my steps seemed golden to you. I loved how you hid underneath the couch when you were young, and yet continued to attempt getting underneath there when you could no longer fit. You would howl along with me, as everyone thought I was just plain crazy, but I knew you enjoyed it. And I'll never forget the time you jumped in on our singing video I was trying to make for my sister in Louisiana. Me & the boys were singing "Any man of mine" trying to cheer her up, & later when we listened to how horrible we actually sounded, we understood why you jumped up on that couch with us & put your howling along side of us. It was so funny. And even when we were out in the middle of the lake on the boat for the 1st time. You didnt feel comfortable being there. I could tell. But when I jumped in for a short swim, even tho everyone else was still on board, you jumped in right behind me. I couldnt believe it. But, as the old saying goes- you jump, I jump, right. The years just went by... and my steps were still always golden to you. I always knew you loved me. You showed it everyday. You always welcomed me home, even when I was just plain old grumpy and wanted no-one around. You never minded how I was, your love so unconditional. You were sweet to all the little ones, especially loving the kittens. Through all those years, you grew up as well as my children. You loved me & protected me when I really needed it. I truly mean this. You were a hero dog for me at one time. I could have never imagined having you for 18 years, but could have definetely never imagined losing you til it happened. You were a beat in my heart. I held on to long when maybe I should have let you go. I felt selfish so many times, yet could not bear the thought of me being the one to help you into heaven. You were a piece of me, myself a piece of you. How do you let go of that? As i fell asleep that morning after working all night, I never imagined it would be the last time I would see your eyes stare into mine. How different we would do things if only we knew. I would have held you in my arms close to my heart where you belonged. You would have never gone alone. The one consolation I have is that that day I had placed you outside in the yard on a beautiful sunny day. It was so beautiful out, and I knew how you loved the sunshine.... as a young pup frolicking in it, to an aged dog who just loved the warmth of it. I still cant seem to make my way to your gravesite that often. I dont even know why. I look at it from the sliding glass doors where just not so many months ago you had laid within those same doors staring out those same windows. I still look at that spot you lay, on your blanket, as your time became closer. Its amazing how you can find a bare spot on your floor so warming to your heart & heart-wrenching at the same time. I remember lying there beside you apoligizing to you for holding on when I should have probably let you go. I hope you knew how I really hurt for you, not just myself. My love was unconditional too. Your still holding onto it. It hurts to hear your name still to this day, even when I feel it should only be a warming thought instead. I remember the drives home once you passed, after working all night, how I would have panic attacks when I got closer to the house. And when I finally pulled in the drive how hard my heart was racing & hurting. I knew once I opened that front door I would look right to your spot, but it was now a bare floor. So empty, so painful. It didnt feel like home anymore. I pray to see your existence, if even only in my dreams. You are so very much loved scruffy!!! I only hope your days now over the rainbow bridge are as beautifully felt as my days were with you here following my foot-steps. They tread lightly now, as there is only one set of foot-steps to be heard. But just maybe this is also where you are just carrying my broken soul as you always had. Rest in peace boy. My Roofy. Mamma