Hunter is in Doggy Heaven.

Hunter

Age 12, November 06, 2000 - November 26, 2012

Nickname: Snoozer, Sir Barks-a-lot, Puppers

Ten years ago, we rescued Hunter from a shelter. We were his 3rd owners in his first 2yrs of life. Hunter was a stubborn and stocky beagle, but also the biggest baby. He hated to be left alone and always wanted to be near us or on us, everywhere we went. Hunter loved to go fishing, loved his walks, always had to be snuggled up to us under the covers and loved to share a bowl of popcorn. He was our "only child" for 5yrs and then came our son.
Things were good for the 1st year, but it seemed that once our little one became mobile, Hunter became irritated. Nips on our sons wrists (from food being his hands) started happening. Then the face. Our poor son got nipped in the face 4 times in the course of 5yrs. They all seem to happen when Hunter was sleeping and our son would try to give Hunter a kiss. This last time required a trip to the ER and 7 stitches. As much as we loved our dog, we had to protect our son. We tried every family member and friend to take our truly, snuggle bug of a dog. But truth being, Hunter couldn't be trusted around children. Rescue centers and shelters would not take an "aggressive" or an "at risk" dog. I was sick to my stomach. Hunter was my baby. I cried everyday for a month leading up to our decision. It has been 2mos since Hunter went to Rainbow Bridge. My heart is so broken, as Hunter truly was a "healthy" dog and I feel so guilty.
Every time I turn around I see Hunter sitting on the steps, curled up on the couch, his bowls sitting empty. I still have his blankets in a ball on his favorite chair, as if he is asleep under them. They still smell like him, proof he was here. Every time I drop something on the floor, I still want to say "whoopsie" and he'll come running to clean up my mess. I even hate driving down the street knowing I'll never walk him there again.
He was such a good boy overall and he was my baby and I just want him back.

Snoozer, I know you are in heaven waiting for us. Now I have to make sure that I too, get to heaven! My heart will be forever broken until I get to hold you again.
Daddy misses his puppers, Austin misses his dress-up buddy, and Momma miss her snuggle bug and walking partner. I will love you forever Hunter!

1/26/2013

Oh my sweet old boy. At this time 2 mos ago we said our goodbyes. Life hasn't gotten any easier with each day passing. I seem to cry and weep harder with each passing day. I just packed up your blankets in fear that they may loose your scent if left alone for too long. And smelling you on those blankets, makes me feel as if you are here with me. I came across "you" the other day and felt as though I was stabbed a million times. It made it so real. I can't bear to keep you alone in the closet, but I also am not ready to see you in that box everyday. I prefer to remember you alive. I cannot accept that you are not here. I hate it. I've learned to not see you everyday, but the thoughts of the "never agains" haunt me and all of my memories of you are still sooooo real. I hate this. I must remember, that you are well and ALIVE in heaven. Running around doing everything you love! Grandparents and family members and dogs who knew me before you are all there loving you and keeping watch over you. I know and trust God that you are well. I guess mommy just needs strength still to get thru each day with out her Snoozer. I think of you everyday and miss your love and kisses. Please don't ever forget me! I keep your hair in a locket around my neck, so you are always with me and never left behind.
Love Mommy

2/20/2013

I fell asleep on the couch yesterday and the sun was beating down through the window. I imagined I was at heaven's gates and God said "Go get her boy", and you came running and met me there. I will live each day knowing that day will come and I will welcome it with open arms. I love you Hunter.

2/26/2013

Hello my sweet boy. Today marks the 3rd month of you being gone. 90 days since I gave you your last kiss. It feels like it has been forever since I saw you, but I'm thankful for videos I have of you that I can watch when I miss you and that helps, some. It hasn't gotten any easier. I miss you often through out each day. I just want to remember you with out tears. Today, I decided to make your memory book a scrapbook instead of a photo book. It's going to be hard, but I think it will be good for me and you deserve it. We are also going to watch a friends dog while they are out of town. Another therapeutic step for me.
I hate that you are gone. I want you back so bad. I hope you forgive me. I love you so much. Love forever, Momma

3/4/2013

Hunter, I cannot stand the pain. Watching the other dog has been harder than I thought. He is a very sweet dog and loves to play with Austin. However, it only reminds me that I YOU are not here. I want you home. I want to go back 5mos, to when things were wonderful. IF I had never left town, maybe the bite would've never of happened and you'd still be here. I want you home. I just want you home.

3/27/2013

Yesterday marked the 4th mos of your absence. I did pretty well for the most part, until I just happened to notice the time, and it was exactly 2:15pm. The time your spirit left us. Everytime I look out the patio door, I'm reminded I won't see you standing there to come in. My mind will not leave me alone. I want to remember you with a smile, but I can't seem to accept you are gone. I am hoping all these emotions will subside once my pregnancy is over, b/c I am an emotional wreck with out you. I started your scrapbook and when I look back on pictures of you and Austin, I'm amazed at how much you tolerated him when he was small. I just don't understand what ever went wrong. I often blame myself, that my stress made you stressed which caused you to lash out at Austin. And all the "what if's" and "why didn't we"? Why didn't we seek a behaviorist? I feel like we failed you and you paid the ultimate price. Daddy keeps reminding me that you were losing your bodily functions as well and that it was just time. That doesn't help. I still feel you had so much life to live and just feel as though I betrayed you. Ugh...will I ever smile when I think of you again?

4/26/2013

Hello Sweetheart. Spring has finally arrived. The windows are open, the birds are singing and the sun is shining. As I sit here at the desk, I can see you laying in the sun on the deck. Only, your not. You should be. That is where you should be this very moment. Instead, you are far, far away from me. In a world I cannot see, but imagine. Mommy is still not getting any better. I cry every day, still. It does not seem that you have been gone for 5mos now. I still feel as if you were here just yesterday. Perhaps your spirit is always here. I am still carrying around alot of guilt. I don't think I will ever be ok with our decision, which I know is preventing me from moving forward. I miss you Hunter. I miss you soooo much.

10/3/2013
Oh sweet Hunter...how much has changed since you've gone. I feel so bad for not keeping up writing to you. 4.5 Mos ago we had another baby. His name is Noah Fisher. We picked the name Noah for a few reasons. 1. The name means Rest, Peace and Comfort. This I hoped was what Noah would bring mommy since I had been so sad since you left us. 2. Noah's Ark...and the sign that God gave Noah to show He would never flood the earth again, a rainbow. Our signal from you since you are at Rainbow Bridge. Every time we see a rainbow, Austin says it's a sign from you. The other day, Austin laid pieces of licorice all over the front room floor, because he saw a rainbow and said that you would love licorice. Austin stills talks about you a lot and even pretends to be you or walk you when he plays. It is still so hard for me to hear your name out loud. I have of course, kept busy with the new baby. He has brightened our world. But everyday...I still think of you. I miss you especially at night, because that was our time together. I miss our walks at night terribly. And still, with every bowl of popcorn, I see you in my lap, waiting for one to fall. How on earth...can almost 365 days have passed with out you? I can still say..."this time last year, things were good. The bite didn't happen (again) yet." But soon that won't be true. Oh...my sweet "grumpy, old man" my heart still aches for the choice we made. I watch videos of you all the time still. It makes me feel like you are here still and it helps me cope. I still cannot fathom the idea of another dog. I will forever feel llike I'm betraying you. I feel like you would be thinking, "why does that dog get to come into my home when you made me leave?" "I'm supposed to be there still." "That is my home, my family, my bed, my toys...my life." I don't know Hunter...I'm praying God will lead a dog in need to our doorstep, b/c I can't imagine going out and getting another one on my own. Austin misses you terribly and always asks when we can get another dog. I just can't...not yet. I miss you Snoozer, I sure miss you. Love momma

11/6/2013
You would've been 13 today. You should've been 13. How did we ever follow through with what we did? It still hurts so much. Almost a year since you left. I hate my life without you in it.

12/20/13
My sweet Hunter,
Over a year has now passed. It still hurts a great deal not to have you here. I no longer cry in agony every day, but memories are a constant. We still have your drawer filled with all your toys. I look at your bones and am reminded that you will never chew on them again. At night, we I see your baby sitting next to your empty collar on beside "you", my heart breaks. You will never get your baby again. You will never fill your collar with your furry neck again. I miss you so much. I miss having you curled up in my lap in bed. I still pull out your blankets, filled with your hair and your scent. I hold them close and weep. I try to remind myself you are ALIVE in heaven. You are ok and are not missing us, like we miss you. I still cannot believe you are no longer here. I miss you baby. I will miss you and love you all the days of my life. Love forever and ever, Momma