Halo is in Doggy Heaven.

Halo

Age 3, ~2007 - April 28, 2010

Halo was the sweetest soul to have ever graced the earth.

Nickname: Huh-Lalo

We came to visit you and your siblings at the rescue when you were a baby. You were so different, we were sure we wouldn't take you home until after we set you down and walked a few feet away. The other puppies kept on playing but you sat next to the little fence and pawed at us. We had been chosen.

I remember holding you for the hour-long drive home. Maybe it was then that our special bond began. You were tiny, bow-legged, and had a cough but your love made you the most beautiful dog we'd ever known.

I'm not sure how we grew so close but we spent every moment together. You insisted on being close constantly, I had to do everything with one arm so I could hold you in the other. You thrived on physical contact, lying on my chest, smothering me with kisses, sleeping on top of me.

You were so clever. I remember watching you from the window and seeing you run up and push the swing with your front paws. It was soon our favorite trick and you had come up with it all on your own. You were the only dog who knew to open their Christmas present. You picked up on so much that we said, learning phrases when I didn't mean to teach them.

You were pure innocence and affection. Even after we would play, you wanted reassurance that it was only a game and you were still loved. You had so much sass though. You foud so much joy in sneaking things off to your special place outside, tricking the other dogs into coming to the door, and bouncing off the walls and furniture. You brightened everyone's lives.

I always felt compelled to tell you how much I love you, how much you meant to me, that you were special and I didn't know what I would do without you. Mom and I always sad we couldn't imagine you as an old lady and now it seems we always knew you would leave us too soon.

You were in shock but I could see your face change when you realized your mommy was there. tried to save you and I am so thankful you were in my arms when you passed. Your death was so sudden and horrific that I still believe I am trapped in a nightmare. I don't know how to live my life without you here as my shadow. I miss waking up with you, watching you stretch and start the day even when it was much too early for you. You would sneak off to another bedroom but always come down to say "goodbye" when it was time for me to go.

I miss seeing you jump at the door when I reach the porch and feeling you tackle me as soon as I walk in, insisting that I pick you up. Eating is so pointless when I cannot share my food with you. Home is torture when I sit down and expect to feel you against me, when I start up the stairs without you behind me. I keep expecting to see you in the next room, treating a solitary kibble like dangerous prey or sitting on my bed, waiting to curl up under the blanket together.

I like to think you know how much I miss you because there are no words for how I feel. I've been carrying your collar everywhere like a basket-case and feeling all of the places you were the morning you were taken from me. I went to the place outside where you kept some of your treasures. We used to lie in the grass there on our sides, face to face, not an inch between us. I tried to recreate that today, I cried and felt the grass where you would have been. I sleep some but spring awake at all hours expecting to see you before remembering that you are gone.

I would give anything to feel your face pressed against mine or your paws wrapped around my arm again. I try to relive the moments I spent holding your little head in my hands, feeling your little toes, and returning your kisses. Nothing made me smile like the way you would fight and cling to me when I tried to set you down. Every moment with you was pure joy. Your special love for me made me feel soulful, like I must be a better person than I thought I was or you wouldn't have chosen me.

I think of you in every moment and talk to you every day. I love you with all of my heart. Thank you so much for letting me be your mommy for three wonderful years.

You are the light of my life and I can hardly wait to see you again. You are my soulmate. You taught me that I could love in a way I didn't think was possible.